postheadericon Hold Me Jesus


My car seems to be the place that I do the most thinking lately. It's also the place I seem to shed the most tears, but maybe those two things go hand-in-hand. A couple of nights ago I was driving up to the cities and I was thinking. I've felt a bit like I'm flailing lately, to be honest, and I was thinking about what the heck I need to do to get back on track.

In that moment, God told me. An old song started to stream through my speakers.

Well sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small...

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hard inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart...

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down
I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin...

So hold me, Jesus
'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my Glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

A classic from the late, great Rich Mullins. I first heard Rich Mullins because of my dad and so his voice and his songs always make me think of my dad.

The first verse was like the perfect words for how I've been feeling. Nothing has made sense lately and as I struggle to try to make sense of it, I get more lost. Some obstacles just seem so huge, and it seems like my faith is never enough...like I always want it to be more.

But then you get to the chorus, and it becomes so crystal clear.It was like God was telling me that it's okay to let Him hold me. It's okay when I cry so hard that I tremble. So I started to sing along. Hold me, Jesus. And as I listened and as I sang,I was flooded with these powerful images of my dad and the example of love that he has shown me. Jesus can't literally hold me, but the people in my life can be His arms. Be His love. And that's a pretty incredible thing.

It's a good feeling to know that you're loved. And I'm eternally grateful for people in my life who don't ever let me forget that. There is probably not place I feel more protected than when my mom or dad hugs me, and there might not be any sweeter sound that a friend telling me that they love me. Tonight, I'm thankful for those things. And thankful for the way that God reminds us of what's important...that we are loved...through the simplest of things.

You have been King of my Glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
 

Comments  

 
0 # Sarah 2015-03-03 22:50
love you!